August 17, 2009

• If I was a short-legged person, the headline might have read, “Ozark County Woman Rides Pig!” Thankfully, I have long legs. What, you wonder, does the length of my legs have to do with a pig? Let me explain.

                                                                                                              

  We journeyed to Sedalia last Saturday, to attend the Missouri State Fair….my first time! I love a fair, and THE STATE FAIR promised to be a doozy. Couldn’t sleep the night before, so excited was I, imagining all kinds of sights, sounds and tastes. Oh, how I longed for a corn dog on a stick, some kettle corn and a candy apple…and a funnel cake for dessert! But the closest I got to anything “pork” was to Virgil.

  Now, we are cattle ranchers, our preferred breed being Black Angus. So, our real destination at the fair was not the junk-food stands, the midway or the dozens of commercial exhibits. No, we were looking forward to browsing through the livestock barns and admiring the beautiful registered cattle. But it turns out that our timing was off. There were very few cattle in the stalls, for their shows were on other dates. We found a few Charolais, some Herefords and one measly row of blacks.

  So, to assuage our disappointment, we decided to check out the SWINE BARN. The aroma greeted us long before we entered the huge building, and inside we found pigs a-plenty, from Hampshire to Durocs to Poland Chinas, and many others I didn’t recognize. There were crowds milling around everywhere, and the hallways were congested because kids were showing their pigs that morning.

  The first arena was full of boys and girls and their Hampshires. I had never seen pigs in the show ring before and was surprised to see them running loose, with no leads or other devices to connect them to the handler.

                                                        

  The kids used stock prods to gently guide their pigs in the direction they wanted them to go….sometimes. Mostly, the pigs went wherever they wished to go.  My impression was one of semi-organized chaos.

  After the class was judged, the kids brought their pigs to crates where they waited until they received their ribbons.

                                                                                 

  We were standing by this one; the young lady said his name was Virgil. “Virg,” she cooed lovingly to him, as she sprayed a steady stream of water all over his sleek, fat body, to cool him down after the excitement of the chaotic show ring. Virg was one hot pig.

  Realizing the show was over and that we’d soaked up enough pig aroma to last us all day, we turned down the hallway to leave. It was slow going, for everyone else was leaving, too. Suddenly, I felt something warm and wet between my ankles. Looking down in shock, I saw it was a pig snout. And it kept coming, snout followed by pig head, neck and big, fat, wet, warm pig body.  I squealed. The pig squealed. Everyone stepped back to give us room, and the pig never stopped. I was able to straddle the pig, and he just kept going, on down the hallway, pursued by his girl owner. That was when I recognized him…it was our friend, Virgil.

  People around us broke into howls of laughter, me included, for what else can you do when a pig runs between your legs but laugh about it? A man standing nearby said he wished he’d had a video camera, that we would have won the funniest home video award. I think I’m glad he didn’t have one. The warm memory is enough for me.

  P.S. Another thing for which I’m glad: the kids get their pigs nice and clean before they show them. If I’m going to ride a pig, let it be a clean one!

  Here are a few random fair shots:

  

  prize-winning pickles                                                   pretty poppy quilt

  

  The stitching in this quilt garnered Best of Show. And see the Wee Care Gown? These are hand-smocked by some members of a local SAGA guild, who donate them for preemie babies that don’t make it, to be used as burial gowns. Isn’t that touching?

  

  Put some cheese on it!                                          Gentle Ben

  

             Sample of quilt entries                                                  See the blow dryer?

   

                          Pretend milking                                                         miniature mule carts

   

  Old-fashioned quilt pattern–Jacob’s Ladder                                            Who says men can’t knit?

  

  Monster combine (this is for Wyatt!)                             Good muscle–one thing you look for in a bull

  

  This FFA emblem was created using only seeds; Civil War reenactors on the lawn of the 1905 fair coliseum

   

   

   

  • 8:32 pm
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