May 1, 2008

• …last week, an article in the newspaper caught my eye. It suggested that a nice handbag would be an appropriate graduation gift for high school senior girls. I have always liked nice or unusual handbags myself, and I feel particularly well-dressed and smart when I can put all my various belongings into a shiny, new purse and head out the door. So I went on to read the article, thinking maybe this author had a good idea.

  The author interviewed a girl who lives in a posh, upper-class suburb who wanted a particular namebrand purse but whose mother had not given in to the young lady’s wishes just yet, although the mother carried one of the designer’s creations herself. I did not recognize the designer’s name, but that is not unusual. I’m not a designer type of person. The only purses I carry that are truly “designed” are of my own design, tacky though they may be. But when the author went on to state that the pricetag on the bag for which the girl longed was a mere $6300, I just had to read it again! Could it be true that an 18-year-old girl really wanted to spend that amount of money on a purse?

  Call me old-fashioned. Use the local phraseology and say I’m “tight.” Maybe I’m even “tight as Dick’s hatband,” as my mother-in-law sometimes says of those who keep an inordinately close watch on their wallets and bank accounts. Or maybe I’ve simply developed a tiny amount of wisdom as I’ve lived through 5+ decades of American life. But there seems to me to be something really wrong about anyone spending that much money on a handbag, purse, pocketbook or whatever you call it.

  This led me to recall a memory. I have a friend whose son married a designer. Now, this is not just any designer, but a real, true, goes-to-Milan-and-Paris-for-the-big-shows designer. She doesn’t have a big name herself, but this young woman works for one of the really B-I-G names in the fashion industry. If I told you the name, trust me, you would know it.

  My friend smiled when she told stories of her son’s fashionable New York City wedding to this oh-so-stylish young miss, and then she veritably giggled when she casually mentioned that the rehearsal dinner (hosted by my friend and her husband) was…a barbecue! How cool is that? My friend said the barbecue was the part of the wedding festivities most enjoyed by all the guests.

  My friend was carrying a designer handbag. I noticed it right away, because, as with all designer handbags, the label is right on the outside of the bag. I have a theory that designers must be insecure people because they usually plaster their label or their initials or their symbol or some unmistakeable emblem all over the bag. So I assumed that my friend’s designer-daughter-in-law had given her the bag.

  That was when I got to hear my friend giggle again. And she leaned over and whispered, “Knock-off!” My eyebrows raised, and she said, “When we were in NYC for the wedding, they were selling them on all the street corners. I couldn’t resist! I hope it isn’t illegal!” By then, we were both doubled over with laughter. Since then, I never see a designer handbag without thinking about my friend, who is very cute and hip in spite of the fact that she wears the same outfit to many of our meetings together, current fads notwithstanding.

  So, I wonder about that young miss in the newspaper article, whose fondest desire of the moment is for her parents to spend enough money to feed a small, third-world country to buy her a reticule. (Note: I didn’t say “ridicule,” but isn’t it coincidental that the two words are similar?) Does she know that $6300 would buy a small used car for her to drive to the country club in trendy, eco-friendly fashion? Or that it would pay for several hours of college education at many well-respected institutions? Would she realize the difference if her mother wrapped up a $50 knockoff bag in luxurious wrapping paper and presented it to her sans an explanation of the place of purchase? Is there a mother out there smart enough to pull this off and then donate the $6250 difference to Habitat for Humanity or the nearest literacy organization? I’d LOVE to read that story in the newspaper!

  And now let me share with you some of the decorative elements on my life’s stage. In case you’re wondering, these were all designed by the single most famous and elegant designer of all time. His signature is everywhere, as you can readily see:

  This year, apple blossoms are all the rage for the more flambuoyant….

  

   

  while the more subdued prefer the ever-elegant wild azalea.

  

  The green of shy fiddleheads and their big sisters, the fully developed ferns, soften the background.

  

  The crane-bill geranium is much more understated than its domesticated cousin.

                                      

  In basic white, dogwood never goes out of style.

                     

  The sound of water flowing over rocks provides the perfect accompaniment to nature’s fashion show,

                           

  and for a little unexpected drama, a tortoise dared to shed its shell last year, tantalizing all onlookers and raising eyebrows, indeed!

  

  Mayapples are pretty but NOT for eating, and this false indigo really isn’t indigo at all, in this case…rather, a soothing pale yellow.

  

  A butterfly enjoys refreshment from the generous milk vetch.

                                     

  Spring may be the season for pastels, but not to be outdone, this yellow honeysuckle and her friend, the squaw-weed, show off their warm, bright glory.

  

  Violets and sweet william provide a perfect purple punch.

                                                          

  And just when you think you’ve seen it all, the best is the feathered finale: the rose-breasted grosbeak dares to dazzle, while the phoebe,finch and indigo bunting pay no attention…

      

  They just want to eat!                                                                   

  And the poor little quail is much too shy to be on stage…he just ducks and runs for cover.

  

  I hope you’ve enjoyed my little fashion show. There is no charge for this event; it is free for all who choose to view and enjoy it. No knockoffs here!

  • 11:06 pm
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